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**Ranger1** · 09-19-2005, 09:05 PM

I hope its a rumor

**OmahaStar** · 09-20-2005, 07:00 AM

Meh .. Word is, he offed himself.

*shrug*

**Jan** · 09-20-2005, 07:22 AM

I'd like to formally propose that if you can't say something nice about somebody who's passed away, *don't say anything*. Malcolm Xerxes was a poster here, even if only for a short time and certainly didn't do anything to deserve such a callous attitude.

This is a hot button for me, people. If true, suicide is a tragedy that leaves the surviving friends and family scarred for many years due to unanswered questions.

What's the source of your 'word is...', Omaha? Iamsheridan posted the actual post he found. Is your information as substantiated or just rumor?

Jan

**OmahaStar** · 09-20-2005, 08:17 AM

Originally posted by Jan

I'd like to formally propose that if you can't say something nice about somebody who's passed away, *don't say anything*. Malcolm Xerxes was a poster here, even if only for a short time and certainly didn't do anything to deserve such a callous attitude.

I didn't say what I felt like saying; I kept it as nice as I get when it comes to that person. I understand, from reading others comments about him, that he was nice as could be in person. Online, that was not the case. I only knew him online, so that's the only thing I have to go by.

This is a hot button for me, people. If true, suicide is a tragedy that leaves the surviving friends and family scarred for many years due to unanswered questions.

Suicide is for the weak. It's the easy, cowards way out. I should know. Actually, anyone who struggled with their sexual orientation in their teenage years would know. One in three gay/bi youths attempts suicide, and I'm no exception. It was realizing what it would put my family and friends through that prevented me from completing the act.

What's the source of your 'word is...', Omaha? Iamsheridan posted the actual post he found. Is your information as substantiated or just rumor?

It's a couple of days after the news broke about Malcolm's suicide, and I'm still having trouble understanding what he did. I now know more about the situation, and my emotions have shifted somewhat since rockgoddes filled me in. I'm still angry at him, but now for a different reason, and I don't know how to get past those feelings (or even if I should try, or just let the emotions play themselves out naturally). There must have been reasons, but I'm sure we'll never know what they were. Any explanations now can only come from biased sources.

From this post, by an offline friend of his named Lance (aka "TorontoTrekker" on the net).

**Jan** · 09-20-2005, 08:36 AM

Originally posted by OmahaStar

I didn't say what I felt like saying; I kept it as nice as I get when it comes to that person. I understand, from reading others comments about him, that he was nice as could be in person. Online, that was not the case. I only knew him online, so that's the only thing I have to go by.

So the question is, why did you find it desirable to say anything at all?

Suicide is for the weak. It's the easy, cowards way out. I should know. Actually, anyone who struggled with their sexual orientation in their teenage years would know. One in three gay/bi youths attempts suicide, and I'm no exception. It was realizing what it would put my family and friends through that prevented me from completing the act.

Which was actually my point. In the grief chats that I host, survivors of suicide are plagued for years with questions and regrets. Obviously your post wouldn't have hurt Malcolm, but if one of his family or friends were to run across it, it would hurt them deeply and add pain they've done nothing to deserve.

As for suicide being for the weak or for cowards...how can we ever tell from outside? Sure, you have your own story but we can't know what went on inside Malcolm's head or why it went on. For example, I'm horrified by the number of people I talk to weekly who've had suicidal thoughts brought on by the antidepressants that are supposed to help prevent that sort of thing. That's one that I have personal experience with myself.

Judging people without compassion is unattractive at best. "We must be kind to one another."

Jan

**Laiden** · 09-20-2005, 12:34 PM

I hardly see any evidence to support these being no more than just rumors. I dont know and am not familliar with Mr. Xerxes, but from the information I just read on him it seems he is a talented person and I hope this can all be resolved.

on the subject of suicide, It is quite easy to find an excuse to live, but to find a reason to die and then complete that task is a difficult one. While you may not or can not consider it to be "courage" that people have in order to complete such a horrifying task, I ask this:

what of the people who willingly die for another? What of those who are nobel enough to kill themselves before endangering others lives?

its not cowardly, it can be selfish, and it can seem poor and pathetic, but I was certainly too much of a coward to do it myself when I was young . . . So I dont think people who do are cowardly, just selfish depending on their reason if one is so discovered.

I will do some more searching and see if I can resolve the issue, apparantly this was a "hot button" for me as well but in a different way

sorry for offense if any occured.

**Jan** · 09-20-2005, 01:11 PM

There's some unpleasant information in comments attached to his IMDB listing but I don't find any obituary for him, at least online.

The whole subject of suicide is touchy and emotion-laden. In many cases, I agree with Laiden that it can be selfish and downright rude to make some poor person clean up the mess. Still, I do believe that there are sometimes legitimate reasons to take one's own life or to help another end theirs. That, however is a whole different subject.

Whatever happened, if Malcolm took his own life, I'm sorry for whatever pain he had.

Jan

**Radhil** · 09-20-2005, 02:29 PM

I have to say I didn't like the guy much either, at least, the facet of himself he chose to present here. But that's regardless, and that's personally, and moot. It's not like he wasn't friendly, or attempting to be. I didn't even know he was an actor - can't know everything about a person, least of all every one of their sides.

So my thoughts or prayers or wishes, whatever worth they have, are with him today.

If it was suicide, mayhap a cowards way out, but those who have stood at that final crossroads also know that no choice there is easy. The road away from the cliff, the road off it, the road along it... nothing easy. So if it is, he has my pity as well.

If not... I don't think it really matters. He has it anyway.

*bows head*

**Jan** · 09-20-2005, 03:07 PM

Originally posted by Radhil

...but those who have stood at that final crossroads also know that no choice there is easy. The road away from the cliff, the road off it, the road along it... nothing easy.

That was very nicely put, thank you.

Jan

**Laiden** · 09-20-2005, 03:20 PM

Agreed. Well Put Radhill!

**iamsheridan** · 09-20-2005, 11:09 PM

Letter from StarHyke producer

Here is an e-mail I received this morning from StarHyke producer Jonathan G. Brown. I think he puts it very well.

Regards,
//IamSheridan

Dear Friends

After reading the latest string of posts on the forum about the
circumstances of Malcolm's death, I feel I have to make comment
and clarify a few points.

Firstly, I can confirm that it's true that Malcolm took his own
life on Tuesday 13th September. It's also true that on the day
before he shot his ex-girlfriend twice, once in the face and once in
the chest. As far as we know she is still alive, although remains on
the critical list in hospital. She has two children.

I cannot speculate as to what was going through Malcolm's mind to
make him do such an unspeakable act, but we do know that he was
reaching out to many of his family and friends for help prior to
these events occurring. I cannot make any excuses or offer any
reasons for Malcolm's actions, except to speculate that there
must have been something very heinous in his life to make him commit
this brutal act.

Malcolm Xerxes was always a very friendly and positive man, he
showed no signs that his personal life or mental state was in such
turmoil. We auditioned him for a role on Starhyke and thought we
knew him well. He was one of our most vocal supporters and had an
endless supply of enthusiasm for Starhyke and all Sci-Fi, including
the pilot series he stared in, Finnegan's Squad.

Let's all try to remember Malcolm affectionately for the life he
lived and not for the way he died or the circumstances surrounding
his death.

We've lost two very close friends and vocal supporters of the
series in the past few weeks. Both Michael Sheard and Malcolm Xerxes
will be remembered in our hearts and minds. We send our love to
whichever star they now reside upon.

Michael Sheard 1940 - 2005
Malcolm Xerxes 1965 - 2005

If members wish to submit posts about Malcolm, please make them
positive. Lets remember him as we knew him on the forum and not
speculate on the events surrounding his untimely death.

Regards to all

Jonathan G. Brown
Starhyke Producer

**Radhil** · 09-21-2005, 10:29 AM

Well. That's a bit of a different spin.

**Laiden** · 09-21-2005, 11:34 AM

I'm still not sure on this . . . if such an incident occured, it would have been made public knowledge by now. I think there would be SOME kind of public news on it.

**Birdsatalcatraz** · 09-22-2005, 12:39 PM

Hi, I know I havent been for a while but I thought I would set the record straight for you on this subject.

The information from Jonathan Brown comes directly from the Peel Regional Police in Toronto. His name has not been released online or anywhere else to protect his ex-girlfriends identity. What JB has posted is Fact.

There will be a memorial service this Saturday for Malcolm.

You can visit his own website at www.titanrainbow.com/~malcolm/ and go from there to his message boards for details.

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