Convention Rules

[OmahaStar]

Jan, GL, and I were discussing convention etiquette while at MegaCon a few weekends ago. I mentioned that I had written a list of "The Rules" for Dragon*Con and I promised to dig them up and post them.

While they are about Dragon*Con specifically, I think generally they work for all conventions. What are some rules to add to the list?

1 - The convention is called Dragon*Con. So can somebody tell me why the only plush dragons I can find are those tiny little ones with magnets on their paws? (Magnets are those lovely little devises that render room keys and credit/debit cards useless) Getting something like that and putting it anywhere in my bag is just asking for trouble.

2 - Don't stop. There are well over 20,000 people in the 3 hotels right now. When you are walking and suddenly decide to stop because you've seen something shiny, you have a whole line of people who are trying desperately to get around your ass. If you must stop in the middle of the room/hall/whatever, then move the fuck out of the way.

3 - People who ride the escalators are generally trying to get somewhere. When you're in the Marriott and riding the escalator up to the lobby, it's essential that you move your ass out of the fucking way. You have dozens, if not more, who are following you up that escalator, and they do not have the option to stop. If you are wanting to see that fat guy wearing a spandex Spiderman costume that clearly shows every bulge and wrinkle, it's a good idea to simply make a jump ... to the right. This will ensure you're not pushed onto your fucking face.

4 - Sweet creatures that you all are, you know better than anyone what your size is. If you have to stop and question "Does spandex/lycra/black electrical tape make me look fat?" the answer is no. "You do." Wear something appropriate. There are hundreds of larger people at a con like this, in costume. They include pirates, fashions out of the middle ages, very elegant velvet dresses, Klingons, etc. And they pull them off wonderfully. Work with what you've got. I'm a big guy. You won't see me coming in as Spiderman any time soon. If I realize this, why can't you?

5 - If you are standing less than six inches away from a sign that clearly reads "No photography between 7 pm and midnight", and you've just told your friend that your watch says it's 8:45, then you should not be asking the "hot chick" wearing exactly five inches total of electrical tape on her body, if you can take a picture of her. (well, it was about five inches total, but it was broken up and barely covering what had to be covered by law. Got the visual? You're welcome. Now hand me the mental floss).

6 - If you've just stopped by Mickey Rooney's booth and walked away, saying louder than you should "damn, the fucker looks like the cryptkeeper, he's fucking old!" within earshot of anybody within 12 feet, you really shouldn't be surprised when I .. er, someone .. smacks you upside the head with a sword, conveniently loaned by George Ramero, whose booth is right next to Mickey's.

7 - We all get hot and sweaty at these conventions. Tens of thousands of people jam-packed into these con rooms and ballrooms tend to get a bit stinky. Bathe. For the love of whatever deity you believe in, take a shower or bath or something, and slap on some speedstick.

8 - Dude, if you're going to be a dealer, and sell nothing but hundreds of bootleg, illegal dvds, why act surprised when asked about it? Do you not watch the news? Two big conventions this year had the police and FBI raid their dealers room and they took away dealers in handcuffs when they were selling bootlegs. You guys are fucking scum. Perfect example ... The 200th episode of StarGate SG1 just aired. This dealer has 10 copies on display, of this dvd he burned off his TiVo. He's charging 20 bucks for it. I asked him first, "Are any of these dvds legal?" He stammered, so I pressed on "I know for certain that dvd over there isn't legit, as the episode just aired. You've got Doctor Who season 2, which won't be released for months, and you're charging 40 bucks, and I can't see a single thing here that's legal. Can you give me any reason why I shouldn't call the cops right now?" He stammered and hemmed and hawed and turned to an idiot a few feet away, who bought a copy. Yep, of that very same $20 stargate episode.

[*Starstuff*]

Good list, OmahaStar. I'll add some things I've that I've come across ...

9 - Don't bug the stars when they are on their off time. You may talk to them, but don't ask for autographs or pictures when they are on their way to meals, the loo or the next panel. If they want to chat, they will find you (the fan), but be nice and give them some space as well. (This is from the guide to the FedCon, where guests often walk among the fans or even take part in the evening parties - but that is considered off time and you are not supposed to go hunting for autographs or play paparazzi)

10 - Remember the other thousand fans in line behind you when you get your autograph/picture taken. A short exchange is fine, but if every fan wants to chat for "just a couple of minutes" ...

11 - During a Q&A, please please keep it short and remember the "fiction" in science fiction. Don't ask the guests to explain the physics of a transporter to you or how the WARP engine really works. Oh, and please refrain from singing, reciting your ten favorite scenes in full lengths or asking for input on this incredible story idea you recently had for the show (and which you have conveniently summarized in only four pages you'd like to read out loud).

[glindros]

Great list Omaha.

As a corollary to your list, from a wise man I know.

4a) Spandex is a privilege, not a right.

[Talwyn]

That was actually quite amusing to read

I've never been to any conventions like the ones you mention. However, reading between the lines, I get the impression that there are quite a few folks who go there that really do need to read these rules before being granted entry

eeeww on the stinky factor as well...

[Jan]

One note I'll add: Consider leaving the larger props for the costume contest or parade or whatever situation the con provides for you to show off. On the very crowded convention floor your wings/battleaxe/broadsword/whatever are a menace and could cause injury if you're not conscious of them at *all* times.

Jan

[frulad]

6 - If you've just stopped by Mickey Rooney's booth and walked away, saying louder than you should "damn, the fucker looks like the cryptkeeper, he's fucking old!" within earshot of anybody within 12 feet, you really shouldn't be surprised when I .. er, someone .. smacks you upside the head with a sword, conveniently loaned by George Ramero, whose booth is right next to Mickey's.

Actually, more than likely, I would expect the sword-weilder to be Mickey himself!

Andy Hardy Goes To The Renn Faire

[raw_bean]

1 - The convention is called Dragon*Con. So can somebody tell me why the only plush dragons I can find are those tiny little ones with magnets on their paws? (Magnets are those lovely little devises that render room keys and credit/debit cards useless) Getting something like that and putting it anywhere in my bag is just asking for trouble.

Have you ever seen Mythbusters? They found that it took a magnet of the kind of strength as you wouldn't be likely to come across short of an MRI scanner to have any effect on a hotel room key, and even then it only made any difference when they swiped the key along the magnet, when it was just lying on it it didn't affect it.

[OmahaStar]

Have you ever seen Mythbusters? They found that it took a magnet of the kind of strength as you wouldn't be likely to come across short of an MRI scanner to have any effect on a hotel room key, and even then it only made any difference when they swiped the key along the magnet, when it was just lying on it it didn't affect it.

I haven't seen that, but ...

I was at a convention in Kansas City back in, I think, 2001. Along with our room keycards, each person who was attending the dinner on Saturday night was given a card with their table/seat information on it. Glued to the back of this was a small magnet, very thin, and about an inch or so across.

Many women dropped the table-card into their purse, and men put it in their wallets, along with their room card, credit cards, etc.

Every single one of them who did found their keycards were demag'd, as were all credit cards and anything with a magnetic strip on it.

I put it in a pocket with nothing else in it, and nothing got demag'd, but my gosh, so many others got screwed there. They couldn't use their ATM cards or anything.

I was there. I saw it happen. Ever since then, I've been careful to make sure it didn't happen to me.

[Jan]

Have you ever seen Mythbusters? They found that it took a magnet of the kind of strength as you wouldn't be likely to come across short of an MRI scanner to have any effect on a hotel room key, and even then it only made any difference when they swiped the key along the magnet, when it was just lying on it it didn't affect it.

As a career hotel person, telling guests that their key has demagnetized is pretty standard. In reality, there could be scratches on the strip or the lock may be starting to have issues but the clerk isn't likely to be able to trouble-shoot it and the solution is still making another key and throwing the old one away. That said, it does seem that the guests who store the key cards in contact with their credit cards do seem to have more problems. Maybe the credit cards are jealous and 'beat up' the key card?

Jan