The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked
readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by
adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a
new definition. Here are this year's winners. Read them
carefully. Each is an artificial word with only one
letter altered to form a real word. Some are terrifically

Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with.

Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Bozone (n.)
The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately,
shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Cashtration (n.)
The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.

To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Terminal coolness.

A degenerate disease (This one got extra credit.)

It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really
bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and
it's like, a serious bummer.

Decafalon (n.)
The grueling event of getting through the day consuming
only things that are good for you.

All talk and no action.

Dopeler effect
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic fit (n.)
The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally
walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n.)
Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor (n.)
The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit
you're eating.

And the pick of the lot:

Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.