You've *GOT* to be kidding!

[Jan]

I don't know if this is the route you want to go. Especially if Mike discovers this thread.

You misunderstand me. As long as politicians open their mouths (and I don't think there's any way to stop them) there's going to be moments of the type I illustrated and there's no sense trying to ignore them. If it gets out of hand, or if people forget to take reactions to the 'Rampant' thread, the solution is simple-I lock the thread.

I kind of like 'Darwin award' winners such as your story, too.

Jan

[Dr Maturin]

I can't wait for my hero's moment. If I'm ever in a grocery store when some doof decides to rob it, I have chosen my weapon: A glass bottle of syrup. More precisely, SEVERAL bottles. Those would be sure to crack his skull, and once he's down, a broken end can be held to his throat to keep him at bay until the authorities arrive and arrest him (and me, too, probably, for being a hero).

[Karachi Vyce]

My "you've got to be kidding" for the day: Jan making this thread and saying that it shouldn't get political, which is broken by the third post, with the fourth post being Jan saying, "Well, I guess SOME political stuff is okay", with the sixth post being another politically themed comment. I don't know if this is the route you want to go. Especially if Mike discovers this thread.

Anyway, I'll just decide to go off topic here, because Jan mentioned a bank robbery, and mention something on saw on the news this week, which was a security camera video of some idiot trying to rob a hardware store, and the owner of the store sneaking up behind the guy as the goon is threatening the cashier, and just whacking him in the head with a carpenter's level. To paraphrase Chris Tucker: He got knocked the f*** OUT. It pleased me greatly.

[Joe Nazzaro]

Here's a wonderful one I just came across a few minutes ago:

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. (AP) - Conservative commentator Ann Coulter, speaking at a traditionally black college, joked that Justice John Paul Stevens should be poisoned.

Coulter had told the Philander Smith College audience Thursday that more conservative justices were needed on the Supreme Court to change the current law on abortion. Stevens is one of the court's most liberal members.

"We need somebody to put rat poisoning in Justice Stevens' creme brulee," Coulter said. "That's just a joke, for you in the media."

Thank goodness Coulter pointed out it was a joke. Now if I can just stop my sides from splitting as a result of her delightfully witty comments.

[AaronB]

This should be a fun thread! Great idea Jan.

[Jan]

Sort of makes you head spin if you think about it too long.

Those time travel paradoxes always make my head hurt!

I don't think we should even try to keep all political examples out, since so many end up being brain-bending examples of illogic. Let's just try to give the example and explain why it's ludicrous and the rest of us can take any responses over to one of the 'Rampant' thread, okay?

Jan

[Joe Nazzaro]

The one I just noticed a little while ago while reading today's paper for George Bush just arguing that if his administration had been bypassing the federal wiretapping laws, they may have been able to thwart the 9/11 attacks before they happened. I know you didn't want to make this a political forum Jan, and I don't mean it to be, but I couldn't help thinking about the 'wisdom' of that theory. Since Bush was basing his justification of illegal wiretapping on averting the 9/11 attacks, if they had been doing so and indeed stopped the attacks, wouldn't that by extension have A) eliminated the justification for invading Afghanistan and Iraq, B) taken away most of Bush's anti-terrorist policies for the past six years and C) thus elminated the need for those very wire taps in the first place? Sort of makes you head spin if you think about it too long

And just to put this back onto a non-political footing, I liked the story today about the Maryland mom who was convicted of reckless endangerment for driving her car with three kids in her trunk, including her 9 year-old son, three year-old daughter and her son's eight year-old friend. Her justification? The youngsters wanted to ride in the trunk!

[phazedout]

Ok I've got one for you, happened to me (it's a real Dilbert moment). I (At my then bosses request) spent a happy five days putting together a web site promoting our unit (internal information security) y'know the kind of thing, notices we'd issued, links to best practice blah, blah balh zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

so I email him the link and he rings me up to say "print it out for me"

Say what? I paused for about 5 seconds and said to him "but.... it's a web site"
His response " I can't write any changes I'd have on the screen"
Sigh,
Phaze
on the "going home soon, almost 4 pm on a Friday" ID

[Jan]

This could be a fun thread. Let's use this for examples of the absurd that we come across but let's *not* go all political, okay? We've already got a thread for that. Here's what set me off:

Last week in my area there was a hostage situation at a bank that lasted several hours. I was watching it carefully because the area blocked off was the only direct route home (well, okay, I hoped the hostages would be okay, too). As I was reading the periodic updates online I was struck by this (paraphrased) phrase:

"Phone calls to the bank were routed to the home office where a spokesperson said..."

Run that by me again...some reporter, knowing perfectly well that there was a hugely tense situation going on inside the bank, tried to call and talk to the people involved?!? What was s/he thinking?!

There are plenty of examples of this every day so let's keep it to items that we notice ourselves just to keep it real. Anything from a 'Dilbert' moment at work to local examples of civic silliness or along those lines. Links would be nice, too. If I'd started this thread earlier I'd've been able to give the exact quote.

Have fun...
Jan