The Gweat Speech-Impediment Thwead

[Towelmaster]

Ah, well I don't know where this one came from but hey, it's too good to hide in my archives...

"The Flamer"

(To the tune of "The Boxer" by P. Simon and A. Garfunkel)

I am just a lurker tho' my story's seldom told,
I have squandered my commitments for a terminal and access,
Such are Usenetters.
All flames and jest,
Still a man reads what he wants to read and killfiles the rest.

When I started reading newsgroups I was no more than a boy
In the company of newbies, in the quiet of the on-line helpfiles,
running scared.
Confused as hell,
Seeking out the stupid keystrokes all you gurus knew so well,
Looking for alt.tv.saved-by-the-bell.

CHORUS:
Li li li (FLAME!)
Li li li li li li li,
Li li li (FLAME!)
Li li li li li li li li li li li.
(repetive lil' sucker ain't it?!)

Asking frequently-asked questions, I come looking for a file
But I get no answers,
Just a come-on from the gang on alt.hi.are.you.cute
I do declare,
There were times when I was so bored I read the posts up there,
la la la la.

(instrumental)
(chorus)

Now I'm sending this across the world,

And costing the net hundreds (if not thousands)
Of dollars, do I really want to be doing this?
Doing this....
What the hell!

In the carrel types a flamer and an idiot by his trade,
And he carries the reminders of every piece of hate e-mail that he got.
Till he cries out,
In his anger and his shame,
"I am leaving, you all suck," but we flame him just the same.

(chorus)
(repeat chorus until you feel the song should be over.)

[jahkneebee]

Found it - ignore list can be a wonderful thing!

[jahkneebee]

Jan,
How is it that you turn off a poster?
John

[jahkneebee]

Good way to kill a thread.

[Citizen Vantu]

Hum, may I post some Jar Jar Binks quotes?

Memorable Quotes from
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)

Jar-Jar Binks: Ooh moi moi I love you!
Qui-Gon Jinn: You almost got us killed! Are you brainless?
Jar-Jar Binks: I speck!
Qui-Gon Jinn: The ability to speak does not make you intelligent. Now get out of here.

Jar Jar Binks: If me be returnin, the Bosses will do terrible things to me! Tewwwwible things!
Qui-Gon Jinn: Do you hear that?
[a rumbling is heard in the distance]
Jar Jar Binks: Yeah.
Qui-Gon Jinn: That is the sound of a thousand terrible things headed this way.
Obi-Wan: If they find us, they will crush us, grind us into TINY pieces and BLAST us into oblivion!
Jar Jar Binks: Hmmm... yousa point is well seen.

Queen Amidala: How did you end up here with us?
Jar Jar Binks: I don't know. Mesa day startin pretty okee-day with a brisky morning munchy, then BOOM! Gettin very scared and grabbin that Jedi and POW! Mesa here! Mesa gettin' very very scared!

Captain Tarpals: Hey, you-sa! Stop-pa dere!
Jar-Jar Binks: Hey yo, Daddy, Captain Tarpals. Mesa back.
Captain Tarpals: No-ah 'gain, Jar Jar. You-sa goin' to da Bosses. You-sa in big doo-doo dis time!
[Jar Jar gets shocked by a Gungan spear]
Jar-Jar Binks: Yipe! How wude!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120915/quotes

[Jan]

So many songs...so little time. Anybody else want to pick this up while I'm slaving away at work?

Jan

[Towelmaster]

Hewe is the fiwst...

Webel Webel you've town youw dwess
Webel Webel yo' face is a mess
Webel Webel how could they know
Hot twamp I love you so

Jan will follow with "Mandy" I believe...