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Some fun JMS writing

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  • jahkneebee
    replied
    Anybody wanting a REAL footnote:

    My avatar has them (that's what my music partner in 2 Blue Shoes and I call our back-up band when we use one: 2 Blue Shoes and the Footnotes)

    Jan- does paronomasia count in visual puns?

    John

    Leave a comment:


  • grumbler
    replied
    Originally posted by SLerman View Post
    Especially the footnotes? You mean there was something there besides the footnotes?
    I know. The different font for the footnotes is very distracting, and I find myself reading all the footnotes before I read the text.

    Bad, JMS, bad!

    Leave a comment:


  • SLerman
    replied
    Originally posted by Jan View Post
    Amen! Especially the footnotes. Gotta read the footnotes!

    Jan
    Especially the footnotes? You mean there was something there besides the footnotes?

    Leave a comment:


  • BabylonRebel
    replied
    Speaking of Douglas Adams, a similar phenomenon to the Sweedish Meetballs/Breen occurs in the Hitch-Hiker's Books. Every race, it says, has come up with a drink called 'Gin & Tonic' but it is only the name which is the same.

    Leave a comment:


  • Joansie
    replied
    I know right now I am having foot notes withdrawl. It's terrible. I need a fix I need a fix. NOW.

    Leave a comment:


  • Jan
    replied
    Originally posted by SLerman View Post
    And if you like JMS's comedy writing, definitely read the introductions in the script books.
    Amen! Especially the footnotes. Gotta read the footnotes!

    Jan

    Leave a comment:


  • SLerman
    replied
    Originally posted by RMcD View Post
    he description of Spoo reminds me a little of Douglas Adams' description of the way mattresses are grown in Life the Universe and Everything.
    Thank you! I knew that whole thing seemed very similar to something in the Hitchhiker's Guide, but I couldn't remember what it was. I was going to mention it, but I didn't want to sound too foolish if I was wrong.

    And if you like JMS's comedy writing, definitely read the introductions in the script books.

    Leave a comment:


  • RMcD
    replied
    Those made me laugh. The description of Spoo reminds me a little of Douglas Adams' description of the way mattresses are grown in Life the Universe and Everything. The other thing reminded me of the novel Feersum Endjinn by Iain M. Banks, where every fourth chapter is written phonetically.

    Leave a comment:


  • Donald
    replied
    Originally posted by Jan View Post
    I don't think you'll find this one in the Lurker's Guide but it's alway been one of my faves:





    Jan
    That one made me laugh.

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  • Jan
    replied
    I don't think you'll find this one in the Lurker's Guide but it's alway been one of my faves:

    Eye are a riter. Eye read buks and eye remember wurds. Wurds r my
    bizness. Eye have seen that wurd many, many times. Like in the
    dikshonary. Eye read the dikshonary for funn. Eye likes wurds.

    jms


    Jan

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  • Joansie
    replied


    He does have a way of spinning a tale does he not?

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  • NotSoWize
    started a topic Some fun JMS writing

    Some fun JMS writing

    I'm starting another pass through the series, this time reading JMS scripts and the Lurker's Guide info after each episode. I came across this great fun bit in the "JMS Speaks" section of the Lurker's Guide covering Midnight on the Firing Line and thought I would share it. I'll post others here as I come across them. Feel free to add anything that you come across.

    JMS Defines "spoo"

    Spoo is/are (the plural of spoo is spoo) small, white, pasty, mealy critters, rather worm-like, and generally regarded as the ugliest animals in the known galaxy by just about every sentient species capable of starflight, with the possible exception of the pak'ma'ra, who would simply recommend a more rigorous program of exercise. They are also generally considered the most delicious food in all of known space, regardless of the individual's biology, almost regardless of species, except for the pak'ma'ra, who like the flavor but generally won't say so simply to be contrary.

    Spoo are raised on ranches on worlds with a damp, moist, somewhat chilly climate so that their skin can acquire just the right shade of paleness. Spoo travel in herds, if moving a total of six inches in any given direction in the course of a given year can actually be considered moving. They stay in herds ostensibly for mutual protection, but the reality is that if they weren't propped up against one another, most of them would simply fall down. They do not howl, bark, moo, purr, yap, squeak or speak. Mainly, they sigh. Herds of sighing spoo can reportedly induce unparalleled bouts of depression, which is why most spoo ranchers wear earmuffs even when it's only mildly cold, damp, wet and dreary outside. If there is any life-or-death struggle for dominance within the spoo herd, it has not yet been detected by modern science.

    Spoo ranching is one of the least regarded professions known. Little or no skill is required, once you've got a planet with the right climate. You bring in two hundred spoo, plop them down in the middle of your ranch, and go back to the nearby house. Soon you've got more. When it comes time to cull out the ones ready for market (the softest, mealiest, palest, most forlorn-looking spoo of the pack), little physical effort is required since they're incapable of rapid movement without falling over (see above). They do not resist, fight, or whine; they only sigh more loudly. When spoo harvest time comes, the air is full of the sound of whacking and sighing, whacking and sighing. Even an experienced spoo rancher can only harvest for brief periods of a time, due to the increased volume of sighing, which even the sound of whacking cannot altogether erase. (also see above) Some have simply gone mad.

    Spoo are the only creatures of which the Interstellar Animal Rights Protection League says, simply, "Kill 'em."

    Fresh spoo (served at an optimum temperature of 62-degrees) is served in cubed sections, so that they bear as little resemblence as possible to the animal from which they have just been sliced. Spoo is usually served alongside a chablis, or a white zinfandel.

    Further information on the care, feeding, eating and whacking of spoo can be found in the second edition of the Interstellar Guide to Fine Dining.
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